The Handmaidens meeting was even more thought provoking, insightful and informative. Pastor Siju Iluyomade shared a message titled ‘Your Own Coin’.

She started off by asking the women 2 questions, “How would you rate your performance as a mother on a scale of 1-10?” How would your children rate you as a mother, using this same scale?

The message was a continuation of the theme for this season in Handmaidens, ‘raising godly children’. Pastor Siju took the inspiration for the message from the Parable of the Lost Coin in Luke 15:8-10, and pointed out the fact that while a majority of women may think they have done relatively well as a mother, they may just not have realised, nor accepted the fact that they are like the woman in the parable that had lost her coin.

Many children have been lost to waywardness, worldly pleasures, irresponsibility. Many parents feel overwhelmed by the demands and responsibilities that come with younger children while others have come to the painful realisation that they must have made mistakes with older ones.

Our children are our coin(s), precious, priceless gifts that the LORD has given to us to love, nurture, mould and influence, presenting them to Him shiny, polished and new.

Immediately the woman in the parable realises that she has lost her coin the Word of God tells us that she does 3 significant things, she:

“Lights a lamp”. How do we do this? As Christian women once we notice certain undesirable traits we should ensure that we associate ourselves with a body of believers, a fellowship, a church. From here we will get knowledge, draw strength, learn from others experiences and therein be able to accurately assess how far you've come and how well you've done.

“Sweeps the House”. She puts the lamp to good use, sweeping out anything  that is not of use in raising her children, anger, wrath, carelessness, inefficiency, impatience, procrastination, competition.

“Seeks diligently” searching out and identifying  every mistake she's made and stops and corrects it.

As parents, more so as mothers it is our responsibility to keep our coins. Motherhood, Pastor Siju said is an honour and a great and awesome privilege. She said that its her hearts sincere desire that we will not breed unbelievers, that our children will not be ‘lost’.

For many of us motherhood was thrust upon us as simply the next logical step after marriage, whether we were ready for it or not. Pastor Siju said that it is imperative that we avail ourselves of the wealth of information to be gleaned from the many good books out there on parenting.

It is worthy of note she said that many of the attributes and character traits attributed to God in His word are those of the feminine gender, the mother. Compassionate, nurturing, describing the love God has for us as like, but more powerful than the love that a mother has for her suckling child.

Pastor Siju focused the women on Scripture that must be uppermost in their minds when raising their children,

Proverbs 19:18 “Discipline your child while there is hope…”

Proverbs 23:13-14 “Do not withhold discipline from your child; if you punish him he will not die”

Proverbs 29:15 “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame”

Are we imparting the right values into our children, things like a good name is better than wealth, be polite and grateful. Scripture tells us in Proverbs 22:6 “Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it”. If you have brought your child up well but the child is misbehaving, could it be possible that your own behaviour is not mirroring Christ's?

In our dealings with our children we must be flexible yet consistent. Our standards and values must be based on the Word of God. We must not be afraid to discipline them just so that we will be liked. the test of a good parent is allowing your child to be free because you know what you have put in them and that you have committed them to God.

It is not normal for a child to have certain bad behaviour traits, lying cheating, disobedient, continually disruptive. These are warning signs and should be taken note of and confronted immediately.

If you're going to church, take the child with you. If teachers are always intimating you about less than desirable issues with your child, do not immediately dismiss them and go on the offensive, assuming your child is disliked.

Keep your coin safe Sister Siju said, DO NOT under any circumstances allow your coin to go missing. Love, honour and respect your child.

She then went on to give tips on raising godly children. 

  • Don’t exasperate your children. Don’t over stretch them. Everyone has limits and that includes them
  • Don’t take your child to a house where there’s no one to monitor them. Leaving children by themselves is dangerous for them and for you.
  • Don’t take out your insecurities on them. Stop lashing out at them. Deal with your frustrations and whatever it is bothering you.
  • Stop treating your children like dummies. They have a mind of their own. Raise them to be individuals
  • Treat your child with the respect they deserve. As they say, respect is reciprocal.
  • Love your children without reserve. A loveless home will build and boost rebellion
  • Train your child to have a voice.
  • Always instruct and teach
  • When you’re wrong, admit it
  • Tell them the truth when they ask you questions. Be honest about your pas teven though the information you give should be age-appropriate.
  • Do not be afraid to apologise when you’re wrong

Pastor Siju concluded by saying; the price of your coin (child) is the value you place on them; the respect, the love you show them, the prayers you offer on their behalf and the sacrifices you make on their behalf.

The fellowship ended with prayers for the children and for the mothers to be able to play their role as God has mapped out for them.

Pastor Siju Iluyomade