MARRIAGE, AN INVITATION (A message by Pastor Siju Iluyomade to Women)

MARRIAGE, AN INVITATION (A message by Pastor Siju Iluyomade to Women)


Invitation is a request, a call, a summons; a bidding, an appeal or an enticement. It is a temptation, an allurement, an inducement or a proposition. The call to marriage is a call to love, and the question is will you or will you not love your spouse? Marriage is an invitation to be a 'helpmeet', an invitation to actively demonstrate high regard for each other and to decide and consciously make the choice to love each other on a daily basis.

It is an invitation to patient skillful communication, tact, emotional and spiritual growth, and peaceful, harmonious co-existence (Proverbs 17:1).

Even though there is a greater burden on the man to sacrifice, a woman, the word of God says, CAN win her husband over by her conduct, 1 Peter 3:1, this by implication means that the woman is physically present with the man for him to see her conduct.

Marriage is a call to join a fan club, you MUST be your spouse’s biggest fan, you cannot and should not speak ill of him to others, nor speak ill of him to him, Ephesians 4:29.

Included in the invitation to Marriage is a call to walk in agreement, a call to similar interests. In Ecclesiastes 4:9 Scripture tells us that "two are better than one; because they have a good reward or their labour."

Marriage is not stagnant but ever evolving, and the effort to make a marriage great NEVER ends. True love has no ending. The word of God tells us in fact, that as a woman, if you do leave, you must remain alone till your husband passes on (1 Corinthians 7:10-11).

Think about these scenarios:

  • I've never loved my husband but I want to
  • I loved my husband, but the love has died, I want to rekindle it
  • I have a good marriage and I want it to remain that way
  • I am about to be married or I am a newlywed and I want to build a solid foundation for my marriage
  • I'm working on my marriage but my husband is difficult and uncooperative
  • It's just not working and we are both considering divorce
  • They can talk about marriage as much as they want at Handmaidens, I just can't be bothered to try anymore
  • I'm not leaving this marriage but I'm so over it, I'm just going to maintain status quo and keep to myself
  • I've heard all you've said but my case is different, you just do not understand

Assess yourself truthfully and admit to yourself if you operate on any of the list above.

It is very important to note that marriage is a summons by the Almighty God, it is a spiritual concept and MUST be treated as such. It was ordained by God and his intention was for man not to be alone. Because marriage is 'spiritual' in context, should problems occur, they must be dealt with primarily from a 'spiritual' point of view; prayer, fasting, Godly counsel, and meditation on the word of God as it pertains to marriage.

God gave clear guidelines on how this 'spiritual concept' of marriage was to be executed and lived out and He likened it to HIS relationship with the 'CHURCH' He created Adam first and then Eve.

Adam was to be a protector, a defender, accountable, responsible for tending the garden and responsible for Eve. He was to fend off predators not bring them in. The husband is meant to work and PROTECT HIS FAMILY. Eve was brought in to bring affection and connection it wasn't good God said for him to be alone

After the fall, things changed, it was at this point that God told Eve that your husband shall be lord over you. He reiterates this in the New Testament when He says that the women must be "subject to her husband..." The issue in the marriage relationship should not be one of equality, but rather of fairness. The woman is created to, "complete the man, not compete with him. The husband is incomplete without his woman.



Distraction is anything that steals your attention away from doing the necessary to ensure that your marriage works. What is distracting you from loving and trusting your spouse?

Distraction will lead to Doubt which leads to unbelief. Some question whether they need to get married at all, others begin to ponder on God’s word regarding His design for a godly marriage and begin to look at alternative usually wrong interpretations of Scripture with regards to this. Examine the prism you are looking at your marriage through, lack, plenty or the word of God. "What doubts do you have about your marriage?"

These doubts will lead you to Debate. Does God really want me to be in this marriage where I am being physically or emotionally abused? Is it really possible or believable that God wants me to forgive this magnitude of sin? Debate must be countered by the word, which is the will of God concerning marriage. This is important because debate will pave the way for Deception.

Once deceived you begin to Desire something 'different' and perchance you act on it, this, if you do not retrace your steps ultimately leads to a Downfall, and it is worthy of mention that sin affects everyone, not just the sinner.

God held Eve accountable for the fall, could it just be that God is expecting a little bit more from us as Christian women. We are looking for 'Mr. Right', but are we the right person, are we 'Mrs. Right'?

Have you ever thought about walking out of your marriage? One person’s sin does not give you the permission to sin. We must not take our position with levity. Marriage is an invitation to renew our commitment to Jesus Christ. Your marriage will never work except you go back to the source of marriage. God hates divorce, Malachi 2:16 why do we want to colour, change and dilute the word of God. Marriage was not designed to be tampered with nor taken lightly.

As Christians, our marriages must mirror the relationship between Christ and the Church and the truth is when you look at Jesus as a case figure, or even Hosea we find that love can hurt. We might be called upon to love until it hurts.

We must sign up to, and embrace love in marriage without reservation. Imbibing the culture of just the fairytale is likely to set us up for dashed expectations and failure. A successful marriage, also a marriage that has survived and thrived despite 'going through' shows, manifests, and declares to the world that our God is unequivocally ALPHA and OMEGA.

Marriage can be simple and blissful; the problems start when one person loses the clarity of vision as to what marriage really and truly is and what it represents.

The invitation to a marriage that supersedes all others is the invitation to the MARRIAGE SUPPER OF THE LAMB. Ensure that everything you do in this life, and in your earthly marriage guarantees you an invitation to this particular ceremony, (Revelation 19:9). Will YOU be there?

Pastor Siju Iluyomade